October is Breast Cancer Awareness month and we here at the one 4 me thought it worthwhile putting a small post on here to spread the word.

Every year over 45,000 people receive the devastating news that they have breast cancer. Coping with this diagnosis can be difficult and frightening not only for the person diagnosed, but for their family and friends as well.

Breast cancer also affects men, but it is rare – around 300 men are diagnosed each year.

How Breast aware are you? Visit the breast awareness page to find out more.

The 5 point code

Here are five easy steps to being breast aware. Nobody knows your breasts like you do, so you’re the best person to notice changes to them. Being breast aware is easy – just follow these five simple steps

1. Know what is normal for you
2. Know what to look and feel for
3. Look and feel
4. Report and changes to your GP without delay
5. Attend routine breast screening if you are aged over 50.

How do I check my breasts?

There’s no right or wrong way to check your breasts. Try to get used to looking at and feeling your breasts regularly. Remember to check all parts of your breast, your armpits and up to your collarbone.

What changes should I look and feel for?

• Changes in size or shape.
• Changes in skin texture such as puckering or dimpling.
• Inverted nipple.
• A lump or thickening of breast tissue.
• Redness or a rash on the skin/around the nipple.
• Discharge from one or both nipples.
• Constant pain in breast or armpit.
• Swelling in armpit/around collarbone.

Visit www.breastcancercare.org.uk for more information and to give support

As the season has changed, you may have noticed that the one 4 me has also changed, we’ve unleashed our latest (and last, for now at least) version of the one 4 me. We felt like a change and we think the changes have worked and we now have a funky site for you to come and visit and maybe find the one for you!

We’e also made it easier to see the latest members to the site without even logging in – just visit the latest single members section here

Trust Your Instincts

It may sound obvious, but it is true. Our instincts are always first to tell us something, so trust them. It is all too easy to simply ignore them and sometimes the consequences can be bad. If any situation makes you feel at all unsafe or uncomfortable then you must walk away. This isn’t only in a real life setting, but also when chatting to people. Look out for odd behaviour and any inconsistencies when chatting to someone, if they say something that contradicts their profile, ask yourself why and ask them why.

Don’t Provide Personal Information Too Soon

Never give out any personal information such as your full name, your address, phone numbers or anything else unless you feel absolutely sure it is right. We recommend chatting to people on the online chat or through sending messages before giving personal information. Our chat and message systems are both 100% anonymous and secure and nobody will ever be able to find anything out, unless you tell them. It is far better to take a little time getting to know someone rather than rushing into it and giving away information that you might regret. You’ll know when it is right to share certain information, but even then, think before you give.

Meet somewhere safe

When you are both ready to meet (lucky you) plan it all out. Arrange to meet in a busy and well-lit place. We also recommend that you tell someone what you are doing and where you are going. Give them an indication of what time you are leaving and what time to expect you back. If possible, give them a quick update with a text message or something to let them know how it is going. Never let your date pick you up, sort out your own way of getting there and getting back, making sure you won’t miss the last train home. If you need to travel some distance for the date and intend to stay over, make sure you sort your accommodation out in advance and make sure you leave on your own when the date is over.

Be vigilant on your date and try to keep your wits about you, don’t drink too much and if you get at all suspicious about your date, put an end to it. Online dating is safe, but meeting any strange will always carry some risks, be sensible, be safe and enjoy it. Millions of people are successful in online dating and go on to lead happy lives together. We hope this hasn’t put you off online dating, we just feel it important to make you aware of the risks and to remind you to always be responsible.

Enjoy the site and enjoy online dating and good luck!

Expect more updates soon single people!!!

What do I do if I forget my login details

If you forget your login details, please visit the Member Login page and below the boxes for your username and password you will see a link to be sent a reminder. Simply click this, put your email address in and we’ll do the rest.

back to top

Yes it is really free to sign up. We don’t think it is right to charge you money just to get in the site. Once in, you’ll be able to create your shiny new profile, add your photos and search for other singles and send winks. Should you want to send a message or read a message, you will need to subscribe and become a full member.

back to top

We’re sorry you want to cancel, but hopefully it is because you have found someone great on the site. (if you have found somebody please email us at success@theone4me.co.uk). To cancel your membership, sign it to the one 4 me, then click on My Account, then towards the bottom you’ll see Help and Support, below this is a link to contact support, click on this and it’ll take you to a contact page. At the bottom is a button to delete your account.

It is free to sign up initially to the one 4 me, but should you want to read or send messages or use any of the live chat facilities, you’ll need to become a full member which is a bargain at £9.99 a month.

Choose to sign up for longer and you can take advantage of our discounted membership, 3 months is only £19.99 and 6 months is only £29.99.

back to top

To get support regarding your membership, please sign it to the one 4 me, then click on My Account, then towards the bottom you’ll see Help and Support, below this is a link to contact support, click on this and it’ll take you to a contact page where you can send a message to the support team.

back to top

Meeting strangers anywhere can always be a risk, but as long as you are careful and think things through then there’s no reason why it can’t be safe. Chatting to people on the site is completely safe and and other people will never find out where you live or your real email address or phone number, unless you choose to tell them. Our messaging service is completely secure and anonymous. We recommend talking to them through the online chat or sending messages for a while as it allows you to get to know each other, then when the time is right and you both feel happy, you can swap an email address or phone number.

We must stress that you are responsible for your own safety and always advise that you tell friends that you are going on a date and where you’ll be. Think logically about where to meet as well, a busy crowded bar is better than a quiet lonely park for example. Just enjoy the site, take time to get to know people and go from there. If you require further advise, please get in touch with us.

back to top

This is probably the most common question people ask. What should I write about myself. There is no hard and fast rule about what to write but we do have some pointers for you to help get you to a flying start…

• Make sure you tell the truth, if you tell porkies, it will come out in the end.
• Online dating is fun, don’t be too serious in what you write, funny or unusual profiles tend to get the most attention
• Explain your situation, for example who and what you are looking for, this way it clears up and awkwardness later on.
• Write about your favourite books, or music or films. It is always good to know what people are into in their day to day life.
• Do you have any peculiar habits or pet hates? If so, write them in here. It offers more info about you and makes your profile just a little bit quirkier and interesting.
• Try not to mention anything negative, that never looks good.

Just be honest and open in what you write, remember not to give out any personal information in your profile though!

back to top

Another common question for the team, we recommend a photo that shows you at your best, a clear happy face always works best. Members can now upload their photos using their mobile phone, so what are you waiting for, get snapping.

Try to avoid photos that are low quality or blocky, nobody likes these. Avoid group photos as well, they may show you having a good time but it is hard to work out who is who.

back to top

If you have any more questions, please click here to get in touch with the one 4 me team

On a nice warm day, why not fill a basket, grab a rug and head for the countryside! What can be more romantic than sipping a nice cold drink and munching through all those nibbles with your new love? There’s you, your love and open countryside with not a cloud in sight and the smell of wonderful flowers (or cowpat depending on the field) filling the air and the moment takes you…

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have this idyllic date? Take note of the following no no’s and you’ll soon be frantically scrubbing grass stains from your favourite outfit!

Do Not;

Wear socks and sandals, this is so unattractive, whether you are fashion conscious or not, with socks on dates are off!

Leave your toe nails to grow. No one wants to catch sight of overgrown toe nails, they’ll suddenly appreciate the sock and sandal look.

Girls do not embrace the 1970’s hippy / feminist approach and let your leg and armpit hair grow freely. Your partner is dating you, a beautiful girl not someone who could be confused with a hairy chimp!

Squeal like a girl (even if you are one) if a wasp appears. You’re more likely to be stung if you do a Nancy dance and let’s face it the fat eye and trout pout look doesn’t work for anyone.

Ignore your hay fever, you never know what irritants are flying around, if you start dribbling snot everywhere you’ll have more to worry about than what drink you should order.

Ignore personal hygiene. Warmer weather brings hotter bodies which sweat. It’s a natural thing for guys and girls, but shower and wear deodorant, else you’ll go from hunky to honky.

This can be daunting and hard, and lets face it, if you stuff it up you won’t be winked at! So its crucial to sell yourself positively:

• Don’t use clichés “I like a night out with the lads but love cuddling up on the sofa watching a DVD” No one wants Mr Predictable.
• Don’t show off “I drive a Lamborghini and holiday in the Bahamas” Remember there’s a reason you are currently single and this is probably it!
• Don’t exaggerate “I enjoy the gym and go five nights a week” When you arrive with your beer belly or muffin top it will be obvious!
• Do be honest, if you’ve got a specific type; tall dark and handsome, put that in, that way all the short, bald, fatties will leave you alone.
• Do be light-hearted, remember your looking for love, not writing a job application.
• Do spell check and proof read, no one wants to read “you enjoy wind with your meal”. You might have a flatulence problem but your date can find that out in time!!

It’s true to say that the vast majority of us seek to have someone to love and someone who will love them back. For some people it’s a dog, otherwise known as mans best friend, but for others and I guess that’s you (that’s why you’re reading this) it’s a human partner.

If we roll off the clichés, your soul mate, the one you know you’ll grow old with, the one you’ll love for richer or poorer (although if you’re honest, you hope the poorer never happens), you want to find that special person.

With it being the twenty first century, all sexualities are embraced and love blossoms as much as it does in different sex and same sex relationships. So if the one 4 me isn’t ‘your cup of tea’, poor yourself an Earl Grey and have a peek at its brother and sister sites.

As if I need to spell it out! The brother site, the boy 4 me, is online dating for gay or bisexual men. This site will launch in the future so watch this space!

The sister site, as if you hadn’t worked it out by now, is online dating for lesbian or bisexual females, looking for love. So girls, what are you waiting for, visit the girl 4 me… go to www.thegirl4me.co.uk

Decide on a public place, you don’t know if your date is actually an axe murderer, so play it safe!

Choose somewhere that you’ll relax and enjoy, if you don’t like coffee don’t go for coffee. If your mates work in a local restaurant avoid it, as that is a recipe for disaster. Who wants to be watched as they muddle their way through a first date?

What to wear? This can say a lot about you, farmers shirt, boring,. Low cut top and skirt, easy. Remember you’re looking for romance not a one night stand. Dress appropriately to the venue of your date, show you’ve made a bit of effort, nice earrings and a necklace, or an ironed shirt, but don’t go OTT. Remember desperate is not attractive.

If eating, think sensibly, do you want to watch him as he slurps his soup, or as bolognaise flicks everywhere as you suck up spaghetti? Remember you might want a second date but if you end up with a face that looks like you’ve only just learnt to feed yourself, it’s not going to happen.

When it comes to paying the bill, remember girls it’s the twenty first century, offer to cough up for your half. Although, lads it doesn’t hurt to buy the girl a drink!

Drinking, unless your T-Total we all enjoy a drink, but don’t get lashed, and pour your heart out, or worse, tell them their profile picture was kind to them!

SOS escape! There is always the worry that you’ll be stuck with Mr or Miss Boring, wishing the ground would swallow you up before you get to the point of shaking them to see if there is any life in them! Arrange to meet for a couple of hours and say you’ve got plans for after, so if your thinking of ways to kill yourself you know you can escape. If however you like them, their voice is like music to your ears, you can postpone your later plans!

The old design did the job at the beginning, but we think this new design is far more dynamic and a bit edgy, it seems lots of dating sites seem a bit careful, and we wanted to break free from this and offer something different.

Watch this space to see what else we change on the site, we are always thinking of new ways to improve it and add functionality.